Madonna Needs To Buy A Car Seat!

Madonna and her 17-month old son, David, were spotted leaving a Kabbalah Center last week but there was one little problem. She didn’t have him strapped in a car seat. I know she’s been taking a lot of heat for this lately but it’s a really serious thing. I’ve spent plenty of time working in emergency rooms and I’ve seen firsthand what can happen to children in an automobile accident! All moms make mistakes but next time Madonna should Buckle Up The Baby! (Note: Britney is not a role model for child care!)

The response for her camp was, “Proper security measures are always taken for Madonna’s children”. That seems like a pretty weak statement to me!

To make matters worse, it was just revealed that an ex-nanny of Madonna is shopping an 80 page memoir about her experience working for the Queen of Pop. Those who have read the manuscript say that the contents could be really damaging to the Material Girl’s image. The book reportedly includes juicy details about Madonna’s marriage to Guy Ritchie, the erratic behavior of their children and the real motivation for her adoption of son from Malawi last fall.

Keep your head up Madge. Hopefully one of these young starlettes will do something stupid and take some of this attention off of you!

Madonna: Bag Lady You Got Too Much…

…stuff and that’s why you missed your bus! The 48-year-old queen of pop, who we recently confirmed to be part of a major ad campaign for H&M, is pictured leaving her apartment on a frigid morning in New York, clutching a smoking hot Starbucks cup of coffee. Well at least she’s warm, even though she looks like a hot ass mess!

Madonna’s New H&M Commercial!

The Material Girl is giving us futuristic fashionista tutelage for her clothing line with H&M—M by Madonna. I never noticed H&M ever having a true advertising campaign until the store hit the West coast. Could that be because our version of the superstore is WACK? I’ll make sure to save my H&M shopping for the East coast!

What I can say is that those white walls, the riding crop and black skin-tight outfits vaguely remind me of my favorite Madonna video EVER: ‘Human Nature’. I wonder if this was the inspiration!

“I’m not your Bitch, don’t hang your S@#T on me!” and I’m not sorry!

Madonna Covers British Elle

The Material Girl covers next months British Elle and let’s just say that red dress is larger than life. We can all agree that Madonna is getting on up there in age but she seems to be keeping those old bones together thanks to Yoga and god knows what else [wink wink]. Normally she looks really SEVERE in the face but it seems the Photoshop really softened up her image a little. Here’s what the pop-star mom had to say about raising her pre-teen daughter, Lourdes.

My daughter is going through a phase of wearing jeans that are so tight she can’t bend her knees in them. I have a go at her and say, ‘Can’t you wear something else? You have a closet full of clothes and you wear the same pants every day. And please wear a belt because I don’t want to see your butt crack when you bend over.’

May Lourdes should get hold of some of mommas old risque photos. Exhibit A:

2007 Vanity Fair Oscar Party!

I’m amazed that Madonna is still holding it down after all these years! Perfect hair, makeup and dress! Well done!

Victoria Beckham showed up looking like an alien as always. Is she even alive or do they just move this mannequin from event to event?

Mary J. Blige and Oprah Winfrey both looked happily splendiferous as they walked the red carpet.

Hollywood’s cutest couple, Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani are just adorable!

Scientology’s finest! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes worked the crowd as undercover missionaries for Xenu!

Sean “Diddy” Combs and Kanye West (Dumb & Dumber) showed up looking tacky as hell! Fire whoever let their asses in!

Will & Jada Pinkett, Can you guys please adopt me? Jada I promise I won’t sleep with Will! (B. Scott fingers crossed.)

Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres’ public display of love makes me so proud to be gay! I can’t say enough about how great Ellen was as the host of the Oscars. And to think she was once banished from television! Remarkable!

And you know I couldn’t end this post without mentioning my premier future baby daddy, Djimon Hounsou, who looked rather dapper in his chocolate suit. Just orgasmic!

Flashback: Valentine’s Day

Even though it’s Valentine’s Day and I don’t have anyone to spend it with, I realize that I shouldn’t be bitter. Why should I be mad at everyone else for flaunting their LOVE? I was in a flashback mode this morning and picked just a few of my favorite songs with the word “LOVE” in it. Enjoy Love Muffins!

Feel free to leave suggestions of your favorite flashback songs with the word “LOVE” in it! Maybe I’ll add it to the post.

Madonna - Justify My Love (Sexy!)

Janet Jackson - That’s The Way Love Goes (Sultry!) P.S. Can You Spot J. Lo?

Mariah Carey - Vision Of Love (Soulful!)

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You (Superb!)

Although I LOVE the divas, I can’t forget the fellas
Boyz II Men - I’ll Make Love To You (Sweet!)

Madge Stands By Her Man!

At the London premiere for Arthur’s and The Incredibles, Madge showed that not only is she the Grandmother Queen of Pop, but she’s not too big to take a back seat and literally “stand by her man”. Actually by the looks of it, Madonna probably whipped out her huge 7 inch schlong and is giving it to her husband Guy Ritchie right there on the red carpet. I wouldn’t be surprised… Madonna has done far worse (anyone remember her “Sex” book?). Anyway its good to see the entire family out together!

P.S. And by the way where is her African baby?

Madonna Shut Up!

Madonna is now the latest celebrity to weight in on the Donald Trump/Rosie feud. This on the heels of Barbara Walters calling Trump a “POOR PATHETIC MAN” but stopping short of calling him a liar. (which means Barabara is the real liar!) The Ancient Queen of Pop during a interview on this morning’s Today Show with Meredith Vieira said “People are giving Rosie a hard time,” and “I wish they’d stop. I don’t think it’s fair.” I suggest she continue to focus on adopting African babies that ALREADY HAVE PARENTS, before she gets RIPPED a new one by the Donald!